The Six-Minute Management Course

This is the extended version of the (in)famous Three-Minute Management Course that became a hit for quite sometime in the Internet. And I am pretty sure that this thing may also have been sent to you via email many times over. It just so happened that the origin or author of this article is not known to me or to most of us. Thus, if anyone of you out there knew who the creator was kindly inform The Chronicler for proper citation of the material.

My objective of re-publishing this in this blog site is just to archive the material for reference purposes. This material is bound to be a "timeless corporate novelty" which may be applicable for more decades to come. Hence, it would not only benefit me, but the readers of this blog site as well for the blog site could provide us instant reference pertaining to this material.

To add "insult to injury", I share my personal thoughts on every lesson, which I wrote after the moral-of-the-story line. In like manner, I would like to encourage those visitors, browsers and readers of this blog site to please share your thoughts as well on the subject matter. Feel free to post your comments to The Kalman Chronicle. Rest assured your side will be aired as long as it conforms to the norms and standards of web blogging.

Hoping you will find wisdom in every lesson learned. Although, what are written is but a joke, yet the readings have full of substance. So without much further ado, here they are:

LESSON 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

My personal thoughts: Never pissed-off your debtor lest he may delay payment or he may not going to pay you at all even if he has an initial intention to pay you. In case a pissed-off debtor decided to finally settle his account with you, beware and be cautious because he might be cooking something or had actually done something that you weren't aware of that would pissed you off doubly hard once the thing unfloded.

LESSON 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129, It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

My personal thoughts: Information is indeed very vital in ascertaining an opportunity. That is why when lady luck knocks on your door, welcome her with open arms and give your tight embrace. The only time you would realize if she is a good opportunity or a bad one, once you started exploring her.

LESSON 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find a antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "Okay, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

My personal thoughts: The boss has always the final say. But it is only true in an organization that is afraid to go outside the box. Sycophants and blind leaders alike would make aspiring workers' lives look miserable. These are the people who are willing to distort the truth just to please their boss and malign potential employees. Furthermore, if the boss has a “kill joy” attitude, they add to the “kill joy” atmosphere in the workplace.

LESSON 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

My personal thoughts: If you are in a competitive market, be sure that you are always on your toes because someone out there is digging far better than you are. And they are capable of devouring your share in the market. Therefore, being number one is not an eternal guarantee that you will survive the corporate jungle.

LESSON 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

My personal thoughts: Gullible and naïve investors are those who trade off short-term prospects with long-term gains. They may have reached the peak at one time; however, the question is how long? More often than not, they are the ones that are being hit the hardest once the market reverses its trend or a business suddenly folds up.

LESSON 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story: The three lessons that can be learned are: (1) not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, (2) not everyone who gets you out of shit is necessary your friend, and (3) when you're in deep shit, it's better to keep your voice low and watch!

My personal thoughts: Oftentimes, we view our critics as our enemies. We never realize that the person might just have been showing that he's concern to you. And he finds it more convenient to relay that concern through constructive criticism. Thus, find out first your critics' intention on you before jumping the gun. In fact, there are instances that those persons whom we considered friends are the ones stabbing us at the back. Always watch your back, so to speak. In case you retaliate, make sure your retaliation is done in a subtle manner and sweet voice so that your words won't be too spicy nor bitter once you swallow them.